Good morning love,
Can I still call you love?!
I would like to say so many things, but I just can't... Not because I don't want to talk or because I'm not capable of doing it... But because I'm tired! I'm tired of myself, that commits always mistakes and then has no idea where to start from, with fixing them... I hate myself for what I am and for what I do!
I started being happy these days, but school fucked me up! I always want to be the best in everything, but I'm not able... I study a lot for everything, but when it comes up to a test, I go into panic! I forget everything! I did my biology test on tuesday and the questions just drove me mad. It was a multiple choice, but it was horrible, because the answers were confusing me...
Durring halloween night I was sick, but since I didn't wanted to stay alone at home, I decided to go out with friends... My plan was to go out, have a drink and then go to my boyfriend and make him a surprise... But everything went wrong! I'm so good in fucking everything up! I didn't drink to much, but since I was feeling bad before, this caused the fucking sickness even more!
I'm sorry for being like this! Suck a fucking asshole! I would like to make things better! I want to unite what I broke! I want to get better in everything! And I will!
The only thing that I want to do is to hug you and feel your skin pressed against mine... Smell your perfume and hear your voice that tells me that everything will be fine... Will that be possible?! I really hope so!
You have no idea of how much I love you and how much I will fight to put things back together! Don't hate me for what I have done to you... Remember me as a smiling person who wanted to be strong... Rebellion is in my blood as much as there is love and passion for you...
Thank you for everything you have done for me... I really appreciate it!
We are back to the start again. When we didn't talk to each other and our life's weren't one unique... I feel so bad for what I have done, that it hurts me to death...
I don't want to ruin everything, but to be happy again together...
