“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho

My tea is still hot and I think I'll spend another sleepless night. 15/10/12

I'm thinking of all the things that happened in this last few days.

Last friday after school I went to my boyfriends house, I was starting to feel sick, but I told myself that so sickness can divide us. The bus was strangely early and I had to run towards the bus stop to catch it. When I came to his house I lied next to the sleeping beauty and watched him sleep. After some time we woke up with the intension to go to smoke, but the atmosphere was so full of passion, that we started to kiss and hug. I was being more passionate than ever, as if I haven't seen him for days and having spent months without him. We knew exactly new what to do, as if our love afternoon was written in a script. He was so gentle when he took off my shirt, he kissed my belly and he gave me chills all over my body. He were dancing under the blankets and the songs of Frank Sinatra was filling the room with the love. After the love, which words can't describe, we went on the balcony and in the freezing night we filled our lungs with smoke. 
At 20.00 we sat on the car and he drove me home, where I left all my school books and went to the Japanese restaurant with my family. The dinner was long and took many people were stopping the waiters to bring us the food. 
At 22.00 my friend/classmate called me and asked if I had still much till the end of the dinner. Since the last dish wasn't coming from ages, I kissed my mum and sisters and went away. I went towards the same bar in the center, ordered a beer and joined my friends. They were sitting on a stone, taking about shitty stuff. I was listening to Ed Sheerin's music and was missing my boyfriend so much, that if had seem that I didn't saw him for months.
Then we went to the same bar again, I finished by beer and smoked a couple of cigarettes. At about midnight me and my friend took a taxi, which brought him first home (he payed much more) and then it took me home (I payed a lot less, only 2.80euro).
I felt asleep thinking about my boyfriend and having nice dreams.

The next day, last saturday I was home alone, because my boyfriend worked in the evening. I woke up with plans in my head: relax and do all the homework so that I would have the weekend free. It didn't really worked our like that! I spend the day literally doing nothing! I read, watched TV (strangely, because I never watch it), watched an episode of Skins and the a lot earlier prepared myself to go out. tights, very short dress, wool sweater and high heels. I was really having an Effy mood that night! I put music on and started to walk towards my boyfriends work. He called me saying that he finished working and where was I. He picked me up and his dad drove us to the center. Walking in Verona night streets, we passed a bar and meet two friends, we sat at their table and started talking. Then we went to eat something and as usual I ate only half of what I ordered, the rest I put it in my bag. My boyfriend told me that we wouldn't have the winter travel to Moscow, like we've planned. I was sad about it, but I understood his situation. We would have gone to Russia the next summer! Then we went to the same bar, Viviani. I ordered two Vodka shots and then a Vodka cocktail. Then we went away, because I was feeling sick (not because of the alcohol, but because I had stomachache) and because it was late. I went home and laying on my bed, started to watch, sleepless, the episodes of Skins. 
It was already 03.30 in the morning and I still wasn't tired, I watched three episodes and I started to tripping, don't know exactly why. A half an hour later, I went to sleep, but my stomachache didn't let me have nice and quiet dreams, fuck. 

The next morning I woke up at 11.00, I was feeling so tired and weak, that I wanted to remain all day in bed. However I prepared my bag with all the homework books, dressed and went to the bus station. I was feeling so fragile, that in the meanwhile I was waiting for the bus I sat down on the street. Thirty minutes of endless waiting and went the bus finally came I collected all my strength and sat of the bus. I boyfriend came with the car to the bus stop next to his house. I was feeling so sick that I couldn't even walk. When we arrived to his house, we sat down at the kitchens table and started eating the lasagna that her mother cooked. My stomach was closed and I didn't ate much, actually I was playing with the food. Then we went to the bedroom and lied on the bed under the blankets. We watched a film, I started reading Anna Karenina, while my boyfriend was sleeping and then I slept too.

We woke up at 17.30, it was pretty late, considered the fact that we had still to start our homework. My boyfriend was looking live at a crazy mad, Felix, which was falling from 36000 meters high! He passed all the afternoon looking at him, which was reaching the optimum hight. Since my stomach was still rebelling and hurting me, I ate a vegetable soup and then my boyfriend brought me home. 
I watched an episode of Skins and then as soon as my mother entered the room, we started to argue! I was so mad at her, that after thirty minutes of conversation, I went to the bathroom, slammed the door and starting crying. My mother wants to drive me insane. 
I went to bed angry with her, but tried to think of something happy, before falling asleep.

I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.  ~Edgar Allan Poe