“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho

Feeling so tired, that I can't even read and breath at the same time 11/01/13

Why do I continue to have these horrible dreams? Why do they persist in appearing in my thoughts?! The night was supposed to be tranquil and calm, but it was just the opposite. Horrible dreams are penetrating in my mind and disturbing my calmness. I need my medicine, I need him...

Even though it has passes only two days since I've last seen him, it seems an eternity! Why do I miss him so much? Why can't I cure myself and be better? This is all because of him. I can't go on, if I know that he is miles away from me. I know that even though he is not actually next to me, his spirit is, he cuddles me. But it's not the same thing as having him next to me, having him in my arms. I want to feel his skin pressed against mine, I want to odor his perfume and I want to stare in his eyes! I want him to say that I'm going to be fine and that his presence will make me feel better. I'm waiting for him, but in vain. I'll have to wait another day, another suffering day... I'll have to pass another horrible night full of nightmares and sweat! Can I resist, can I live another 24 hours without him?!

This morning I drew myself an indelible tattoo, which I would like to tattoo for real!

After having taken a shower, I felt so low and horribly lonely! I need him to stay be my side! After lunch with my parents, I went to sleep, because I felt really tired and my eyes were literally closing... At 16.20, my mum came and woke me up, we had to go to school and I had to take my school notebooks, so that I could study, since I didn't went to school for two days!

After dinner, I went down with my parents near to the chimney and we talked! Thanks god, someone called on the homephone... Who was it?! It was him!!! It was Andrea!
What a surprise! When I went to greet him, I went out to smoke a cigarette and he seemed preoccupied! I didn't answer the phone for more than one hour! I didn't because I was downstairs and the phone line was unreachable. When we came home, I prepared myself a cup of hot tea! The atmosphere in my house was more happy and tranquil!
Then we went to watch a movie! We were lying on the sofa and cuddling! It was so nice and beautiful!

"I like being here with you in your house... The atmosphere is more calm now"

Beautiful words... First he hated coming to my house, and now that he was the changes of my mother and saw that everything is more relaxing, he feels relaxed too! I'm so happy for that! ^-^