“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho

Why we always change humor at the end of the day?! 14/09/12

This morning when I was in the bathroom, washing my teeth, I heard a music from my room. I thought it was my morning alarm. When I went out, I saw a missed call from him, the love of my life! I called him back and he asked me when would I arrive at school. He was waiting for me there!

There was a big traffic on the road, I could not wait until the cars passed the traffic lights, so that I could pass too! Finally I reached school and he was there waiting for me, with my other friends! Big kiss and sweet hug, this is my breakfast... We talked a little bit and then I went to class!

After school I went out with my friend. We went home and left our books and knowledge at home, then we went back out! We went to eat an ice-cream and I took the "yogurt maracuja" flavor! So, soooo nice! We talked in a park, sitting on a bench. Then I went to my driving lessons and my concentration was literally falling a part. My eyes were hurting and I only wanted to get the fucking driving license and have my own car!

Then we went in a bar and had an aperitif, we talked a little bit and then went to eat a piadina (which I didn't even finish)! After that we went home and I started arguing with Andrea, because I asked him if we could go and eat with him or if he wanted to come with us, but since he didn't liked my friend, he refused to come! He said that for me he's not at the first place and that there is always something more important than him! But that is not even slightly true! He doesn't understand that I really care for him. This was one of the rare cases in which I went out with my friend and not with him.

I feel trapped in something that scares me! I love my relationship with him, but I don't understand where I'm going wrong! It all seems so crazy and complicated. I hate this! Why instead of being cruel with me, he doesn't help me?! I suffer, because have feelings. I suffer, because I love! I make mistakes, because I'm human! Can we put things together and fight no more?! I want love with him and not hate!